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This was the second Yochien Ronin song recorded in April of 2008.

Production Notes

Brian Stewart photo

boo

For a very long time I had wanted to write a song about the suicide forests at the base of Mt. Fuji in Japan called Aokigahara no Jyukai also known as “The Sea of Trees”. What attracted me to this theme wasn’t the allure of suicide so much as the finality of the choice to die. I thought this was very in keeping with the theme of Yochien Ronin, sort of a grown-up version of running away from home. Going to commit suicide in such a belabored manner just seems like a cry for help to me. Someday I’d love to do a full-on music video. There is a prequel/sequel to this song called “stars” which we had planned to record but it has yet to leave the demo stages. Ying did the shouting in the breakdown because I am a terrible shouter.


Ying Chee photo

Ying

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Lyrics (Romaji)

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to hold me
namanurui aijou ha todokanai
kotoba nakushita uta no you ni
aishite kurete mo muimi
kurayami no naka no yami mitai ni
tsutsumarete ha kieru dake sa

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to find me
mori no oku made sagasanakute ii
koko ni iru kara, kokoro no naka
toki no nagare ga hayasugite
tsukihi ga tachi, hito ha wasureteku
boku no zanzou wo nakitobashite

makkuro na yozora wo miage
nagareru hoshi wo sagashite
doko kara ka kikoeta koe
dare no darou to oikakerukeredo
kitto, kimi ha kono boku wo yondeiru you na ki ga shita

fuzakenna!
jibun no koe ni kizukenai ka?

I never needed anyone to hold me…
no, I never needed anyone to find me…
no, I never needed anyone to need me…
no, I never needed anyone.

I always wished you’d be the one to hold me
fukaku akaku oboreteshimau you ni
nomikomaresou na shuumaku no ame
the mouse doesn’t know until the talons dig in
the blood holds its secrets right up until the finale
moto no sugata mo hakanai yume
I always wished that everyone would love me
shizumarikaeru sora he tobidatsu
nayameru chijyou ni sayounara wo

(SILENCE)

English Translation by Brian Stewart

IN SEARCH OF THE SEARCH PARTY ( English)

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to hold me
tepid love won’t reach me
as a song without the words
what’s the point of loving me?
as dark within the darkness
when you envelop me I merely vanish

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to find me
you need not search deep into the woods
because I’m right here, in the heart
time goes by so quickly
as days turn to months, people forget
cry away the lasting images of me

i stare up to a pitch black night sky
looking for a shooting star
from somewhere I hear a voice,
and give pursuit in hopes of finding its source but,
I had the feeling that it must be you calling for me.

Stop fucking around.
Don’t you recognize your own voice?

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to hold me…
no, I never needed anyone to find me…
no, I never needed anyone to need me…
no, I never needed anyone.

I always wished you’d be the one to hold me
like drowning deep in red
the ending rain feels like it’s swallowing me.
the mouse doesn’t know until the talons dig in
the blood hold its secrets right up until the finale
what I once was, now, just a fleeting dream
I always wished that everyone would love me
I leave for the stark and silent sky
and bid goodbye to earthly concerns.

(SILENCE)

Lyrics (Japanese)

in search of
in search of the search party
in search of
in search of me

I never needed anyone to hold me
生温い愛情は届かない
言葉なくした詩のように
愛してくれても無意味
暗闇の中の闇みたいに
包まれては消えるだけさ

I never needed anyone to find me
森の奥まで探さなくていい
ここにいるから、心の中
時の流れが速すぎて,
月日が経ち、人は忘れてく
僕の残像を泣き飛ばして

真っ黒な夜空を見上げ
流れる星を探して
何処からか聞こえた声が
誰のだろうと追いかけるけれど,
きっと、キミはこの僕を呼んでいる様な気がした。

ふざけんな!
自分の声に気付けないか?

I never needed anyone to hold me…
no, I never needed anyone to find me…
no, I never needed anyone to need me…
no, I never needed anyone.

I always wished you’d be the one to hold me
深く紅く溺れてしまう様に
飲み込まれそうな終幕の雨
the mouse doesn’t know until the talons dig in
the blood holds its secrets right up until the finale
元の姿も儚い夢
I always wished that everyone would love me
静まり返る空へ飛び立つ
悩める地上にさようならを。

「沈黙」