We have a lot of catching up to do, you and I, oh anonymous utau-inu reader.

Anyone who has known me in the better part of the last 10 years, knows I have a snakeskin wallet. Or had a snakeskin wallet. It was a gift from my wife that she bought from Tokkyuu Hands while we were in Japan. It was also a concession which followed my brief infatuation with snakeskin pants. Hey, I was chasing the rock star dream. I still think they’re cool! Anyway that brief affair obviously ended with me agreeing to forgo the pants in lieu of the wallet.

And so it was for 8 years that me and my snakeskin wallet took great pride in giving all the girls in the service industry something to admire/make fun of. With “Snakey,” a nickname I never ever actually called my wallet, I always felt like I was carrying a little piece of that rock star dream with me. Alas, as the years wore on the scales began to peel off the leather underneath until poor Snakey began going bald.

One day I had to look into those sad eyes and make the grown up decision to replace him.

I searched far and wide. And I would have replaced the words “far” and “wide” with links to pictures of one wallet that looked like it was for a Desperado with skulls and roses and another that looked like the Necronomicon if not for the fact that both of them sold out. I wavered for a moment but taste won out in the end.

Or did it?

This wallet I found on etsy.com. The place to go if you want something someone else’s kid made for you in art class. I kid. I need things made for me. If I could I’d have all my clothing tailored to fit. This is a good start. The words were custom printed for me. Don’t look at me like that! Octopus like crabs. It’s one of their favorite foods! You don’t want to know what they’ll do to get them!

RIP Snakey. So begins the era of the octopus!