I was browsing the cereal aisle of the internet when I came upon this colorful box of lucky harms(sic).

The best is the confusing limerick which kicks off the “Grab Your Japanese Dream”-off.

Because only limitation
is your imagination

…which makes sense in engrish, the japanese english hybrid, but in standard english it means quite literally that the only imagination which you have is limitation.

Call me bitter and war-torn (please call me war-torn!) but I just don’t know what this is supposedly leading to. How many U.S. acts make it big in Japan before first having some modicum of success on their own shores? If the goal is to find Japanese/American talent why offer English language channels at all? Why make it sound like every anime geek with a Singstar mic has their shot at being some kind of weird foreign exchange idol? –I’d like to exchange Vanessa Hudgens for Fujimoto Miki please.

The deadline is March 31, so if you get off on disappointment, or are looking to rebuild a previously successful career in Jpop/rock/tv/talent (I wonder if Klaha is going to audition?) then sign up today.

Nationalities, sex and age are not asked.

Are we clear? These things are “not asked.” You dont’ apparently even need ID at any point. Hey, I know where Osama Bin Laden is, he’s Grabbing his Japanese Dream! (Or… they translated 問わない which in this context means “will not be a factor” or the more friendly “all welcome” as “not asked”)

So bring on the 90 year old Tibetan throat singers and 3 year old tap dancers.

All that being said, maybe Yochien Ronin needs to sow our evil seed?