My daughter, Maya, is almost three years old. This is one of her first creations. Even without her telling me, I knew, I just knew these were people (or duck people) and that they were in love. Maya later told me, “It’s Daddy and Mommy.” I thought I was the square one but it tuns out I’m the rounded one –it’s taller. We’re standing in a pool of water or on a pool of water, by the way. I look at this and the world seems a lot less dark.
Someone just told me I had to check out this fiery redheaded model named, Natalie Westling, but when I did all the photos were in Black & White.
Lily Allen’s new song and video “Air Balloon” is a huge hit in our house where it’s been requested by my two and three quarters year old daughter 100 times. Takko and I like it too. I know she’s got kind of a MIA thing happening right now but it’s all working. Lily proves to be a master of trashy clashing in her outfit choice; here mixing sparkly gold wedge sandals with jean cutoffs, a sequined white mesh top over a tropical colored bikini top and… are those strips of denim in her pigtails!? Ballsy. Or to harken back to the “Hard Out Here” clip, titsy. Whatevs. Lily fucking owns the whole thing. My daughter loves the zebras, the myrawwrrs! (cheetahs) and the mushrooms that grow toward the end. I admire how the director(s) put the viewer in the POV of the camera as if it were some kind of benevolent alien visitor that Lily playfully pitches skyward as it spins and dances around her. The final shot is… well, see post title.
I really like horror movies but I hate haunted houses where people chase you. OUTLAST is a video game, and one I thoroughly enjoyed no less, but it is also one damn scary haunted house. I did a full review on This Is Infamous detailing the bowel movements I had in my pants thanks to this creepy asylum. Play it late at night. Play it in the dark. Play it with the volume cranked. Oh and buy some adult diapers, it’s less messy.
I don’t know what propelled Sienna Miller to “it girl” status in her day. One moment she was not, and the next she was-like fruit flies materialized from unwishing. She’s been in something like twenty films, STARDUST being the most memorable to my mind, but I’ve yet to discover her as an actress the way I have someone like Naomi Watts, whose penetrating icy blue eyes bore into my soul from frame one of Peter Jackson’s KING KONG. The point is that, I, and in an expanded sense we, the world at large, were given no discernible reason to celebrate her above others but celebrate we did. Perhaps for fear of reprisal at the grocery store where the blonde brit ruled from the magazine rack at checkout, casting aspersions on our choice of frozen peas with a sultry but disapproving glance.
I remember seeing her pop up in the documentary, THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE, which followed Anna Wintour as she put together VOGUE’s annual telephone book sized collection of advertisements. Sienna was the cover model and they did a posh photoshoot in Italy that should have been stunning but… it just… wasn’t. Sienna came across as such a likable but plain girl, incapable of wearing high fashion looks with anything approximating authority. She was pretty, to be sure, but not transcendent. Public opinion eventually turned against her and the witch was burned at the stake for crimes against Jude Law and later for homewrecking (after a thousand years still the most burnable offense.) The tabloids loved her and loved to hate her. So you’d imagine she was going the way of Martin Lawrence when she started accusing her family of selling secrets to the tabloids. Afterall, they had intimate knowledge of private conversations and schedules of times when Jude intended to take his children to the park. What else could it be?
It could be that they hacked her fucking phone! They being the scoundrels at News of the World, who have recently come under fire for hacking over 90 phones of politicians, actors and other people in the public spotlight. Sienna is the one credited with bringing the whole terrible affair to light. You go girl.
This side of the former “it girl,” only recently came to my attention when I was reading an interview from Esquire UK with Ms. Miller. She finally won me over with an onslaught of cheeky Sienna pixie charm. Any girl that gets asked how she and her current fiancee met and answers with “Boring!” is my kind of bitch.
They end the interview with a really great quote that I needed to share:
“Say I achieved everything I wanted to achieve in my career,” she said, “which is to be incredibly prolific and brilliant and moving and successful and to make art, and for people to be affected by it. So my daughter would be really proud of me and her daughter would be, like, ‘Granny made these films’. And her daughter would be like, ‘Oh, my great grandmother made these films I think’. And then her daughter would be, ‘I think three generations ago there was this woman and she was an actress’. And to her daughter I would be nothing.
“I don’t even know my great grandmother’s name,” she said, “let alone my great-great grandmother. I don’t know who she was. I don’t know what she did. And ultimately none of it fucking matters. And when you’re in some massive crisis and you look at yourself in a close-up and then if you visualise pulling back and seeing England and then pulling back and seeing the world, you realise how fucking insignificant you are. I think that’s really the greatest thing I’ve learned recently: that I don’t matter.
That got me thinking about my own situation. Sure, I matter. I matter to the present. To this moment. I matter in so far as I want to be happy and spread love to my family and friends and make things that make people happy for as long as I can. But outside of that? Time will erode me until all I’ve left behind is what I payed forward and how I shaped my little corner of the world. She’s absolutely right. That’s a liberating and intoxicating thought.
I can’t wait to see what this girl does next, although the jury is still out on her acting.
I recently came across this brilliant portal to weirdness while scouting animation studios in the N to the J. Explore it for a few minutes and then prepare yourselves for a drive to internet’s kooky past. That there is some premium GEOCITIES level site building. I would not be surprised to find out that a cult had organically sprung from that old code and began to leave green faced graffiti around town. I insist that if they do exist that they wear brown burlap monk robes tied off with thick gordian knots.
Then there’s this: DEAD COMIC. You’d think the joke would get old but somehow IT NEVER DOES.
I would hire this Quality Schnallity. Not just for animation. I would hire this guy to perform a brise or perhaps a re-brise-ning, if such a thing exists.
I wrote up a review of TOMB RAIDER: DEFINITIVE EDITION for the PS4. The improvements are awesome and I’m even more in love with that psychopath, Lara Croft and her kissable lips. Did I say that last part out loud?
There’s an outtake on the deluxe edition of the FROZEN soundtrack in which Anna sings about being “the spare” to Elsa’s “heir.” “More Than Just a Spare” apparently spawned from one of the many early versions of the film that was thankfully aborted. The prophecy seemed a little cheap as a plot device. I like where they ended up a lot better than where they thought they were when they came up with that one. That being said, the song on its own is adorkable.
My favorite verse from this song:
So I’m a rusty horseshoe hanging up
Over somebody’s old barn door
And I’ll be hanging there forever
Just wishing the horse had one leg more.
Although this part is also pretty great.
So I’m the extra button on a coat
In case another one comes loose
But if I have to be a button
Why can’t I be a button that’s of use? (oops!)
I may lack style and I may lack grace
And once in a while I fall on my face
But this little button deserves a place in the sky
This button wants to fly
Wait, buttons can’t fly, that doesn’t make any sense!
No, Anna, it makes too much sense. Never change. As someone in the process of co-writing a musical, I don’t think I can compete with even FROZEN’s outtakes for sheer songability but I’ll do my best! This button deserves a place in the sky!!!
On second thought my musical has space cats, so I might win by default.
Pope Francis says it best.
The speed with which information is communicated exceeds our capacity for reflection and judgement, and this does not make for more balanced and proper forms of self-expression