True story. The U.S. Supreme Court once referred to Resident Evil as The Resident of Evil Creek when attempting to scapegoat video games for the rise in teen violence.
This was back when Survival horror was still kind of… horrorful. These days it’s all about the circumference of your meaty neck, the array of firepower and those little bluetooth thingies in your ear that let you speak with your squad mates when deciding how many native scalps to claim.
If anything, video games these days all seem to be preparing us to be squad based commandos. I think the Senate Subcommittee would be glad to have us. They certainly wouldn’t be offended, shocked or frightened by any part of the strictly middle of the road Resident Evil 5. I bet they’d be too sleepy to raise an objection.
The last episode of this season is now playing. We’re hard at work on new episodes, hopefully it won’t be too long. I’m feeling a little emotional about finally having the full body of our work out there and knowing, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that we’re well on our way to making something ten times better. I just spent last Friday having my friend’s nuts knocked around by various things and people for a new episode and it was fulfilling in a way nothing else in this world could ever compete with. I’ll let you know when I have my first child if the elation compares.
Lily’s new video for “Not Fair” is out. Personally, I was let down. The song is so racy and fun. I thought they’d go for something equally out there but unfortunately she went for the kitsch vibe of Nirvana’s In Bloom or Weezer’s Buddy Holly aping the look of a country Western variety music program from the ’70s. It works but when I heard this song I imagined a mechanical bull (obvious but so right!) and a shot of her in bed framed so that we could only see her upper half (knees up around her head), and she’s just getting pumped and pumped but she’s yawning, she’s reading the Wall Street Journal, she’s checking her watch, shes learning Chinese, anything. That would have got people talking and would have stuck with the narrative of her song as most of her previous videos have. What she gave us is cute and is not lacking in charms, but opportunity squandered, Miss Allen.
I know what you’re thinking… “Boo, I can’t make a balloon sandwich. I never graduated from Rubber Culinary Arts School.” You know what I say? Screw Culinary Arts School. Bunch of know-it-all “chefs” with their fancy recipes and ingredients. With F is for Film Episode 4, anyone can learn to make a balloon sandwich with our easy step-by-step instructions. Just visit our YouTube page for more information.
In this chapter, Vanessa’s plan to make breakfast for her father, to apologize for the early morning shenanigans, is hindered by her lazy little brother and sneaky family dog as well as her inability to make anything that tastes good. Later, tempers flare between father and daughter when Aaron inadvertently picks at some old wounds.
Also: A Short Bonus INTERMISSION which is a bit of writing that didn’t fit into the chapter, but which I liked a lot. It was originally supposed to set up the misadventures in the kitchen before I changed to a first person narrative for these chapters.
NEXT: The fall out of Chapter 2 and A Guide to High School Hell! by Isabel Gallows. Thing are about to get real up in this bitch. See ya in two weeks.